we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
