I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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