How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
