At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
