I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A+ Viking dick
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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