Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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