Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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