if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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