Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
