you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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