I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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