Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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