Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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