**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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