Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
