She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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