this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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