you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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