I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
