if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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