that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
