Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
