Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Randomize
