Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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