your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
