Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
