so that wasnt chicken after all
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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