LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
