As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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