32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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