Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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