He had one of those small greek statue penises
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
