You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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