If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
