so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
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i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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