i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize