I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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