I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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