I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
