is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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