My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize