I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My penis needs a shock collar
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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