He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize