Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
