I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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