Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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