at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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