oh god the rape fog is back!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
