apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
