My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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