You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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