this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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