Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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