why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
