They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
